Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
