And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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