1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize