Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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