hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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