I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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