hotel room ftw
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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