I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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