Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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