Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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