3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize