just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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