I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
