I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
