3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
