My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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