i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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