the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
