Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
