okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
