I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
