Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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