Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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