I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
