Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
