i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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