Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
