I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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