9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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