no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
