Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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