Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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