Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Your penis caused this!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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