Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
