I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
