no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
