I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
