i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
