Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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