she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
These tits shall not be calmed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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