She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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