you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
