i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
