I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
