Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
