I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
