oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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