Small penises have feelings too.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
