If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
