He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
