If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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