The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
