Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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