I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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