Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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