wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
