Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
